God’s Design for Healthy Marriage: A Wise Woman Builds Her House

Strength to Strength Sisters welcomed Marji Wagler to discuss marriage as God intended.

God designed an other-centered union for a me-centered world.

With the unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit which isn’t wrought up or anxious… adapting themselves to their husbands.

adapted from 1 Peter 3:3–5, Amplified Bible

That inner person is reflected in your words and even your body language. There is only one way to have a peaceful and gentle heart – that is to yield to and trust our Father God.

The biggest investment that a wife or a husband can make in their spouse is the investment they make in their own souls.

John Piper

An interactive question-and-answer period follows.

Marji Wagler is married to Tommy Wagler of Hartville, OH. The first part of their married life was spent in Kenya where they raised six children and left a large part of their hearts. They’ve beein living the United States since 2016, feeling a burden for intentional brotherhood and glorifying God in their local setting.

Marji spends a good part of her time to keep up with her husband (who wears many hats) and children who are not short on energy, new ideas, outreach, and vision.

She prayers that her children will go far and deep in following Christ where He leads. She loves sunshine, music, good books, and a good coffee with a friend.

Courageous Discussions:

• Speak clearly without a lot of emotional baggage (if possible)
• Don’t use character assassination. Say “I felt” rather than “you did.”
• Call out action, but always honor the person.
• Don’t assume wrong intentions.
• Ask questions that don’t attack.
• Listen to the heart behind the words

Building Emotionally:

• Show interest in his work/projects…if you aren’t interested- research and learn.
• Find hobbies that you BOTH enjoy and try to implement them.
• Do whats most important to him around the house
• Make to do lists- rather than nagging.
• Set time to discuss issues when it suits him rather than insisting that you discussing your looming issues whenever you feel the need.
• Fight Busyness- schedule alone time -morning, evening.. whenever you can make it work.
• Putting aside my agenda to go with him when he asks me to do something.
• Thanking him for the way he provides without comparing with others.
• Encourage rather than criticize
• Do things the way he prefers even if there’s no right or wrong.
• Pray for your spouse instead of talking about them.
• Focus on his strengths rather than weaknesses.
• Never degrade in public. Discuss issues in private.
• Ask “Lord, how can I love my husband today like he’s never been loved before?”
• Brag about him to others.

Practical Suggestion for days of the week:

• Monday: add something fun to his life for no good reason.
• Tuesday: Find Something you can do to be a help to him.
• Wednesday: Find something that will encourage him.
• Thursday: Do something you can freshen/improve about your appearance.
• Friday: Improve/freshen up/change something in your house.
• Saturday: Initiate something intimate that will make him feel masculine
• Sunday: Plan public response to him that makes him feel honored.

Love is:

• willing self sacrifice for the good of another that does not require that person being deserving.
• Being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others without impatience or anger.
• Actively fighting the temptation to be critical toward another while looking for ways to praise.
• Making a daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out & responding to minor offenses.
• Being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding.
• Being more committed to unity & understanding than to accusing & being right.
• Making a daily commitment to admit your weakness & failure & refuse to shift blame.
• Being willing to examine you heart when confronted by another, rather than rising to your defense.
• Making a daily commitment to grow in love so that you become more selfless, mature and patient.
• Being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged but look for specific ways to overcome evil with good.
• Speaking kindly & gently in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack the other person’s character or intelligence.
• Being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate or deceive to get your way.
• Being unwilling to ask the other person to be the source of your identity, meaning and purpose or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of theirs.
• Willing to have less free time, less sleep, being busy in order to be faithful to what God has called you to do as a spouse, neighbor, parent or friend.
• A commitment to saying no to selfish instincts and to do everything possible to promote unity and active love.
• Treating the other person with respect & grace when the other person doesn’t seem deserving and doesn’t reciprocate.
• Willing to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of relationship without placing the other person in your debt.

To order the “Prayer Calendar for Women,” contact:

Kitchi Blessings Ministries
4323 Scenic Hwy NE
Blackduck, MN 56630
kitchiblessings@hotmail.com

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